False Sense of Maturity

I still despise Ted Haggard, the former mega-pastor who met his downfall after frequenting a meth dealing male prostitute, though now I also feel a little bad for him after he revealed being sexually abused as a child in two recent sermons:

Haggard said one of his father’s employees “had a sexual experience with me” when Haggard was 7, according to audio recordings of the sermons posted on the ABC News Web site.

Haggard said he later became “a conservative Republican, loving the word of God, an evangelical, born-again, spirit-filled, charismatic, all those things.

But then Haggard loses me when he appears to use the abuse as an excuse for why he was/is gay:

Haggard said he later became “a conservative Republican, loving the word of God, an evangelical, born-again, spirit-filled, charismatic, all those things.

“But some of the things that were buried in the depths of the sea from when I was in the second grade started to rage in my mind and in my heart,” he said.

He refuses to admit that their is a biological basis for homosexuality. Indeed, Haggard considers himself a reformed homosexual that made himself straight through prayer and other God stuff. Being sexually abused as a child is a horrible thing, but it won’t change your genetic makeup and make you gay. As long as Haggard denies this, I see a bumpy road ahead for him.

Though for the moment, he seems to be acting like his old intolerable self. He also used his new sermons - which I can’t explain why he was giving in the first place - to attack the “secular media” and deflect criticism about his scandal away from himself:

Haggard said church leaders missed an opportunity to use his scandal to “communicate the gospel worldwide through secular media.”

“We consistently blow it” when those opportunities arise, he said.

“A congressman in trouble, that’s the time. A family member gets himself in horrible trouble, that’s the time. A preacher gets himself in awful trouble, that’s the time,” he said, his voice rising to a near-shout.

When all is said and done, I don’t know whether I should feel sorry for Haggard or hate him. A bit of both, I guess.