False Sense of Maturity

If I’ve ever learned anything useful about Catholicism, it’s not to mess with the communion wafers, or you might end up in jail like this crazy guy:

Meet Jonathan Ricci. The Florida man was arrested Saturday morning after he allegedly tried to steal “a handful of communion wafers” from a priest at a Catholic church in Jensen Beach. Ricci, 33, sought to swipe 15 wafers valued at $1, according to a Martin County Sheriff’s Office report, a copy of which you’ll find here. During mass at around 9 AM, Ricci accepted a wafer on the Communion line, but “walked away without taking the communion into his mouth.” After refusing a priest’s requests to “accept” the wafer, Ricci “turned to the priest and grabbed a handful of the wafers from the plate and attempted to leave” St. Martin de Porres Church, according to the report. “Due to the religious significance of the holy communion, the parishioners were very upset at his callous treatment of their holy ritual” and sought to detain him. An “enraged” Ricci then began to act “crazy” and scuffled with parishioners, two of whom (men aged 82 and 66) sustained minor injuries. Ricci, pictured in the below mug shot, was charged with theft, battery, and disrupting a religious assembly.

Well, at a pricey dollar a pop, I could see why he’d want to steal them. The funny thing is, I’ve heard that they don’t taste all that great, so he would have been better off stealing from a bakery.